Imagine you're a Yakuza boss, and
things aren't going so well lately. Yakuza comrades (so-called kyodai
and shatei: big brothers and little brothers) are dropping out of
your family like hefty, tattoed flies. The prosthetic finger tips you
gave them haven't mollified them. Perhaps you were a little hasty to
make them say sayonara to their little finger tips, but that's the
way it's always been. 'Yubitsume', or punishment by finger-chopping,
is a centuries-old safeguard against treachery. A man grips the sword
with his thumb on one side of the hilt and fingers on the other: as
you chop off his fingertips his grip on the sword gets progressively
weaker and he becomes more dependent for his safety on his group of
allies.
But the group is declining: members
numbered around 67,000 in 2011 but dwindled to 62,000 in 2012. So
what can you do to persuade your fellow gangsters that the Yakuza is
still worth being part of; that the police crackdown on businesses
that associate with you isn't going to affect your prospects? Then it
hits you; how about a magazine written by the Yakuza, for the Yakuza?
Perfect!
Earlier this year the Yamaguchi-gumi,
one of the Yakuza's most powerful branches, published the
Yamaguchi-gumi Shinpo, an
intra-Yakuza magazine. Its pages feature interviews with Yakuza
bosses and inspirational words from Kenichi Shinoda – the head of
this Kobe-dwelling syndicate – and perhaps you'd expect these
things. More interestingly, its pages brim with fishing diaries of
senior gangsters, and haiku. I guess that sometimes when you're not
busy doing all the things that a good gangster should –
blackmailing, intimidating, hustling, gambling – you miss a good
haiku. Sometimes you wish that you had more time to pursue a pastime
as peaceful as angling, and devour descriptions of your seniors'
catches.
So,
genteel gangster, Yamaguchi-gumi Shinpo is
for you. Stick with the Yakuza: we still represent that strong,
traditional Japan that you miss. But make sure still to be on your
best behaviour; it's hard to write poetry with too many fingers
missing.
